Just a few things i have learnt over the years...

• Never drink anything blue, no good will come of it.
• Toasters lie.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
• Never eat the fudge at glastonbury festival.
• Never eat the burghers at any festival.
• Guiness does not count as food...i know i was surprised too!
• No matter what it says on the tin it will not make you younger...it will make you poorer.
• No such thing as a 'natural' fake tan...people are not supposed to be orange!
• Paris Hilton is not a giant blow up doll.
• Britanny Spears how ever is...
• A good work man does not blame his tools...he throws them out the window and jumps on them instead.
• Computers are evil beings from another world, here to steal our bank details so they can afford a Britanny doll of their own..

sorry i started to babble towards the end...